*Note: Woman Wednesday is a part of our blog. Each Woman Wednesday post will feature a woman who would like to share information in the hopes of inspiring and motivating other women. Comments are welcome below.
Q and A with Hillary, Milford, New Jersey
“What I want others to learn from my story is to simply never give up! Whatever it is you are doing or trying to achieve in life, just don’t give up. There will always be bad days and even worse days. Learn to accept it, deal with it, and ride that wave with your middle finger in the air! Because at the end of it all, you WILL have your day, your chance to shine, your happiness, your dream life.”
Q: What are you passionate about?
A: My main passion is helping people. I am a huge giver, and I always have been. I always put other people before myself. Growing up with the saying “Treat people how you want to be treated,” has always stuck with me. I’ve just learned to put more of an effort into helping people in the hopes of being a happy, successful woman.
As far as personal interests, I am a beach lover! I love the summer and warm weather. I enjoy: vacationing / traveling, being active, being one with nature and everything around me, cooking, baking, being a mom, simply being with my daughter, and teaching my daughter everything she needs to know about life, the world we live in, and raising her to be a strong woman.
My work includes: online marketing, digital marketing, affiliate marketing, and being an entrepreneur.
Q: How did you find this passion?
A: My childhood, as well as my depression and anxiety, has a lot to do with my passion in wanting to help others. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. I was never really given a hand to hold, shoulder to cry on, or that “good warm hug.” Once I started helping other people, getting the recognition and the feeling of ‘thanks’ just became an addiction. I am currently working on growing and scaling my business in order to achieve a healthy and adventurous future for my family and me.
Q:What is something valuable you’ve learned that you’d like others to know?
A: What I have learned that I would like others to know is to simply change your mindset. If you want something, and you want it bad, tell yourself “I want it, I’m going to get it.” And then do whatever it takes to go and get it, but with a positive mindset. It is easier said than done, but I did it. I’m doing great!
I’ve taken punches and beatings my whole life (physically, emotionally, and verbally). But when I changed my mindset and told myself “I need to start my own business so that I can better my life for my family and for myself,” things than started falling perfectly into place. The mind IS a powerful thing. I recommend others to invest in learning more about it. The mind does control us. If we can learn to control IT, then the waves will always be perfect.
A quote that I live by on a day to day basis: “Be happy with what you have instead of always wanting more.” –Robin Sherrerd, my father
And be patient! Your time will come.
Q: What would you like others to learn from your story?
A: What I want others to learn from my story is to simply never give up! Whatever it is you are doing or trying to achieve in life, just don’t give up. There will always be bad days and even worse days. Learn to accept it, deal with it, and ride that wave with your middle finger in the air! Because at the end of it all, you WILL have your day, your chance to shine, your happiness, your dream life.
Anyone who is ever feeling alone, just know that it makes you that much stronger to be a loner and accomplish so much.
In reaching out to you all that struggle with mental health issues, know that it is okay to talk to strangers. I’ve been medicated my whole life. Up until two years ago, I was told that I have what is called “treatment resistant depression” and severe anxiety, along with a few others. I took a turn for the good though, and instead of turning to friends, I turned to my new friend, the internet. I joined groups on Facebook, and yet again, I had the constant POSITIVE and uplifting support from others who were in the same boat as me.
You don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown by STAYING there. So take action. There’s no success without failure either.
Just know this, there is ALWAYS someone out there waiting to hear your story, waiting to hear about your success, your goals, and your hopes and dreams. So always keep your fins up…remember, ride that wave. 🙂
Q: What were your younger years like?
A: I grew up with divorced parents and a mother who was always negative. Having to live with my mother, there was nothing but negativity around me. Between always fighting with my father, arguing with my stepfather, the constant yelling, and my mother leaving us to go out to bars, I was always very sad. All I ever wanted was to live with my father, an all around happy, gentle, kind and positive person. Because we saw very little of him, and because I was surrounded by negative energy, I soon became suicidal.
I didn’t do well in school. I always put my all into absolutely everything, but unfortunately, I had learning disabilities. I needed to always be pulled out of class or be in a separate “smaller” classroom. Therefore, I was always embarrassed and worried what others thought of me. I wrote my first suicide letter to a close friend in 7th grade. She made the right decision in letting someone know, and to make a long story short, I was then diagnosed with depression and put in therapy and on medication.
Later on in life, because of my constant insecurities and doubts about life, I somehow ended up in my first serious relationship during my high school years. This unfortunately, led to rape. I did not know it was, I thought it was normal to be bullied and tortured. It was the only thing I was familiar with.
After years of praying, attempting suicide, and being beaten, I managed to get out and away- only to be in more abusive relationships later on. So with all that, I always just wanted to escape, go away, move away, or run away. I went through beauty school in high school, and I was lucky enough to graduate early so I could go away to college. My dream finally came true when I was able to get into University of South Carolina. I could escape all the negative energy and people that I was surrounded by.
For the first time in my life, I actually experienced what we call “happiness.” I had great friends, great roommates, great teachers and supporters. I had good grades, got two side jobs to make money. I had the beach, warm weather, happy and friendly people everywhere I went. I was truly happy. However, my learning disabilities came back to haunt me, and I just couldn’t pass the placement tests for my upcoming semester without paying a fortune. I ended up breaking down and calling my father. At the time, he had told me “School is not for everyone.” With a heavy heart, I wiped my tears and picked my head up and accepted that. I worked hard to try and take over paying rent in order to stay living down there, but I ended up having to move back with my mom.
Then I met my husband, we had our daughter, and were constantly struggling financially. Money and other issues in our relationship truly broke us. After having my daughter, I was on a mission to find a job that would allow me to stay at home with her and make a good income. I came across online marketing through Facebook. It was just something that continuously kept sparking my interest, no matter how many times I would turn away from it. I joined groups on Facebook, and soon enough, I became a part of an amazing community.
The constant POSITIVE and UPLIFTING support I keep getting is what keeps me going. I didn’t lose faith. It is something that I feel is now a part of me.
I was quite lost for a few years, but I simply never gave up. My past has now led me to being a very successful mom entrepreneur of an online marketing business . Slowly, I am taking action in getting my family and myself to where we truly belong.
A: Feminism to me is being the strong women we were meant to me. Whether in a perfectly healthy relationship or not, or no relationship at all, it to me, means truly standing up for yourself. Be strong. Don’t worry about other peoples’ negative thoughts or sayings.
We are strong. Our strength runs so deep. We are our own warriors.
To join my team and start your journey of becoming a successful entrepreneur in online marketing, click below:
To start your own business in online marketing click below:
To learn more about how I started my business click below:
Hillary & My Lilianas would love to hear from you! Comment below!